| — This page is a transcribed copy for "Hungee Squirrel". — |
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"There's an unknown ingredient in the mix!"
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Cast
- Kiff Chatterley
- Barry Buns
- Martin Chatterley
- Beryl Chatterley
- Ma Saddle
- Pa Saddle
- Lance Contract
- Terri Buns
- Candle Fox
- Renée du Bedat
- Trevor Angstrom
- Reggie Racona
- Echidna Person
- Unnamed kangaroo man
- Songster
Script
(Title Card with episode name appears while Sweepy Steve put a sign of the episode sponsor "Saddles")
Ma Saddle: Brought to you by Saddles Food Ranch. For the casual cowboy
(Kiff and her parents arrive at the restaurant)
Kiff Chatterley: Ah, Saddles.
(The interior of the restaurant is shown, where a crocodile waiter serves a plate of cheese sticks to an iguana, a bear waiter writes down a giraffe's order, a goat girl playing on a mechanical bull and finally flying away, and how some children celebrate a birthday in the restaurant. Martin plays a triangle which causes the restaurant's owners, Ma and Pa Saddles, to greet them)
Ma Saddle: Why, if it isn't the Chatterley clan.
Pa Saddle: Why you folks look more turned around than a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest. (His joke makes everyone laugh) Let's get you to your table.
(The Chatterleys make their way to their table and Pa Saddles gives them the menu)
Beryl Chatterley: Ooh.
(Ma Saddle gives Kiff an activity sheet with a maze, a box of crayons, and the menu)
Kiff Chatterley: Oh, no need for a menu. I'll take the usual.
Kiff & Ma Saddle: (at the same time) A Big Buckle Burger as big as my head, which is saying something because...
Kiff Chatterley: ...my head is big.
Ma Saddle: (at the same time as Kiff) ...your head is enormous.
Kiff Chatterley: (sighs) You get me, Ma and Pa Saddles.
(A few moments later, Kiff finishes the maze of her activity sheet, then she puts her signature on the bottom right)
Kiff Chatterley: And finished. (At that very moment, a waiter comes with their meals) Right in time for the vittles.
(The waiter serves Beryl a salad, Martin some pancakes, and a mouth-watering Kiff a Big Buckle Burger. And she takes a big bite out of the burger by opening her mouth as wide as she can)
Chatterley residence, Kiff's room
(Kiff is checking on her laptop some things to buy at Ibuy when she receives an email from Barry)
Kiff Chatterley: Oh, Barry just sent me an email. I bet it's great news. (Kiff logs into her email to see Barry's email) "Bad news. Running over now." Huh? (Kiff clicks on the attached link, which takes her to an article in the Table Town Tribune) "Meet the latest internet sensation. HUNGEE SQUIRREL?!" (gasps) I've been memed? (Kiff looks worriedly at the memes they made to her) Why didn't anyone tell me I looked like that when I eat? How could you humillate me like this, Internet? I have you the best years of my life!
Lance Contract: (from a pop-up ad) Have you been wronged?
Kiff Chatterley: Yes! Thank you, Internet. I never should have doubted you.
Lance Contract: I'm Lance Contract, trusted local lawyer, and I will fight for you!
Kiff Chatterley: Yes, you will. (she grabs a post-it note and writes down Lance Contract's address and number. Immediately, Barry arrives exhausted at Kiff's room)
Barry Buns: Kiff! (he breathes heavily because he is so tired) Hungee Squirrel! (exhales) What are we gonna do?
Kiff Chatterley: Way ahead of you. Let's go, Bar.
Law Office, Lance Contract's office
(Kiff and Barry arrive at Lance Contract's office)
Kiff Chatterley: Are you the lawyer from the convenient pop-up ad?
Lance Contract: (looking at his mirror) Lance Contract, guilty as charged. (he goes to his desk) Let me guess, you two are besties and want to sue your parents so you can legally become brother and sister. (shows them a document) Seen it all before. Just sign here.
Barry Buns: No-- Wait, is that possible? (Lance nods his head)
Kiff Chatterley: Huh, game changer. Put a pin in that. I’ve been wronged. Someone is using my image in humiliating ways.
Lance Contract: Fantastic. I have just the contract for that. (Lance takes a document from his filing cabinet and gives Kiff a pen) Sign here. Parents’ credit card number here, signature of the guilty party there. Then we’re sorted.
Kiff Chatterley: Okay. That might be hard, because the guilty party is the Internet.
Lance Contract: (laughs and takes the document he gave to Kiff) No. (tears the document into many pieces) No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Kiff Chatterley: Whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you doing?
Lance Contract: Can’t help you. The Internet can’t sign a contract. And it never forgets. And it always wins.
Kiff Chatterley: Your ad said you’d fight for me.
Lance Contract: It’s called false advertising, jelly bean. It’s basically lying, but on a professional level.
Barry Buns: That’s so wrong.
Lance Contract: Well, hire a lawyer and sue me.
(Lance gives Barry a card that says "LANCE CONTRACT guilty as charged" and on the back it says "555-01-I-will-fight-for-you*" and at the bottom of the card it says "*maybe." Kiff and Barry look at Lance with disappointment, who winks at them)
Table Town streets
(Kiff walks through the streets looking very sad while Barry tries to cheer her up)
Barry Buns: Maybe enough time has passed that we can look back on this and laugh?
Kiff Chatterley: Worth a try.
(Kiff fakes a laugh, while an echidna person in their car sees Kiff laughing like that and decides to make fun of her.)
Kiff Chatterley: Aww...
Echidna Person: Hey, Hungee Squirrel, you trying to eat your friend? (The echidna person laughs while honking his car horn and drives away)
(Kiff gets even sadder and suddenly she and Barry see a kind of cabin in front of Slim Pickins)
Kiff Chatterley: (gasps) We don't need a lawyer We need an expert who understands meme culture.
Barry Buns: Oh!
(They both enter the cabin and bow down as if the memeorologist were a saint)
Kiff Chatterley: Oh, great and wise memeorologist, we humbly... (The memeorologist turns her chair around and it is revealed that she is Terri Buns)
Barry Buns: Terri?
Terri Buns: Hey, cheese fries.
(Kiff and Barry are speechless, and the screen immediately focuses on Barry, turning him into a meme with the phrase "When your sister is a memeologist")
Barry Buns: You're a memeorologist?
Terri Buns: Based on my perfectly crafted algorithm, I’m an expert on all things meme.
(Kiff and Barry look around and see many things that reference famous real-life memes)
Kiff Chatterley: Can you show me how long Hungee Squirrel will last?
Terri Buns: Wait, you’re Hungee Squirrel? Kiff, OMG! I didn’t recognize you without your mouth wide open.
(Kiff finishes somewhat embarrassed, Terri grabs her crystal ball as if she were a fortune teller)
Terri Buns: Let’s see here. (she gazes at the crystal ball) Ooh. Yes.
Kiff Chatterley: What?
Terri Buns: Yup.
Kiff Chatterley: What is it?
Terri Buns: This could definitely fit in your mouth. (Kiff is indignant while Terri laughs a little, she immediately grabs her laptop) Okay, but for real. This meme is a category five. Real turbulent. No chance it’ll blow over anytime soon. (Kiff gulps) Congrats. You’re famous, girlie.
Kiff Chatterley: But I don’t want to be famous. Not for this.
Terri Buns: Open wide!
(Terri takes a picture with Kiff with her mouth open, and immediately the photo gets hundreds of likes. Kiff and Barry leave Terri's cabin while Barry brings a green and cyan water bottle; suddenly a voice is heard there)
Voice: Hey, is that Hungee Squirrel?
(Immediately people approach Kiff and Barry to take pictures; even a mechanical crane and a cement truck approach the scene)
Kiff Chatterley: Barry!
Barry Buns: Don't worry Kiff! I'll protect you!
Man 1: Remove the non-famous one!
(A hand pulls Barry and people drag him out of the place)
Kiff Chatterley: Barry!
Bort Grig: Please let me take a photo! (he take a photo with his burger with Kiff)
Old man: Sign my canoe (Kiff writes "Hungee Squirrel" on the old man's canoe)
Kangaroo person: Eat my baby! (Kiff sighs and then a female kangaroo takes a picture of Kiff trying to "eat" a baby kangaroo)
Woman 1: Can I get a picture?
Man 2: Hungee Squirrel, look at my back tat! (Kiff signs on the back of the man who has a Hungee Squirrel tattoo on his back) Full back tat!
(Kiff is already tired of giving autographs and having people take pictures of her)
Man 3: Oh, my gosh, is that Hungee Squirrel?
Woman 2: I think she went this way!
(Kiff runs quickly towards the quiet library and there she sees Renée, Candle and Reggie laughing in front of one of the library computers)
Kiff Chatterley: Ah! Firends. (Kiff heads towards them) What you watching there?
(They play a catchy music video that begins with Hungee Squirrel's head popping out of the sea and also starts with a high-pitched voice)
High-pitched voice: ♪ (harmonizing) ♪
(Chorus)
High-pitched voice: ♪ Hungee Squirrel, Hungee Squirrel ♪
♪ I'm a hungee, hungee, hungee, Hungee Squirrel ♪
(Verse)
Songster: ♪ Woah, there! That's quite an appetite! Do you ♪
Songster and high-pitched voice: ♪ Bite, bite, bite, from morning to night? ♪
Songster: ♪ Your mouth is huge when you open wide! ♪
♪ If you go to a wedding, ♪
Songster and low-pitched voice: ♪ Do you eat the bride? ♪
Songster: ♪ Eat a bus for breakfast, and a train for brunch! ♪
Songster and high-pitched voice: ♪ Then a whole airport, and a plane for lunch! ♪
Songster: ♪ When you open your mouth, it means big trouble! ♪
♪ You ain't no turkey, but you ♪
Songster and low-pitched voice: ♪ Sure like to gobble! ♪
(Bridge)
Low-pitched voice and high-pitched voice: ♪ Please, Hungee Squirrel ♪
♪ Don't eat me ♪
♪ I have hopes and dreams ♪
♪ And a family! ♪
(Chorus)
High-pitched voice: ♪ Hungee Squirrel, Hungee Squirrel ♪
♪ I'm a hungee, hungee, hungee, Hungee Squirrel ♪
♪ Hungee Squirrel, Hungee Squirrel ♪
♪ I'm a hungee, hungee, hungee, Hungee Squirrel ♪
♪ I'm so hungee... ♪
(The video ends with Hungee Squirrel exploding into the sun, which then explodes the entire solar system)
High-pitched voice: ♪ Hungee Squirrel ♪
♪ I'm a hungee, hungee, hungee, Hungee Squirrel ♪