Let me tell you what happens to a person... who's lived all the life there is to live.

Nice Old Singer, "Two for One Hot Dogs"

The nice old singer is a minor character in the series Kiff. He is a musician and former child model who lives in the Dusty Acres Retirement Home.

Profile

The nice old singer is a resident of the Dusty Acres Retirement Home.

As a child, he was the model for Fran's Franks' "It doesn't get better than this!" advertising campaign for its two-for-one hot dog deal, and his likeness is still used in the company's advertising to the present day.

Personality

In "Two for One Hot Dogs", Kiff and Barry see the slogan "It doesn't get better than this!" on a Fran's Franks billboard and begin to wonder if their lives really have peaked after enjoying two hot dogs for the price of one. The nice old singer is later seen performing a song over a montage of the duo's existential crisis. Eventually, Kiff and Barry spot the singer enjoying himself at a party in the Dusty Acres Retirement Home and realize that he is the model from the billboard, leading them to conclude that their lives have not peaked after all.

He sings another song about the beauty of a new day in "Up All Night", which helps Kiff and Barry forget about their disappointment over missing out on seeing Snailey's Comet. After performing the song, he notes that he usually forgets his songs after performing them.

Appearances

Season 1
Opening sequence:		Absent
1. "Thirst to Be the First":	Absent	31. "Fresh Outta Grandmas":	Absent
2. "The Fourth Bath":	Absent	32. "Maybe-sitting":	Pictured
3. "Pool Party":	Absent	33. "Everyday I'm Riddlin' Riddlin'":	Absent
4. "Road Trip":	Absent	34. "Life on the Inside":	Absent
5. "Brunch DJ":	Absent	35. "Weird Delivery":	Absent
6. "Career Day":	Absent	36. "No Dad Ideas":	Absent
7. "The Five Pigeons of the Acapellapocalypse":	Absent	37. "Faculty Lounge":	Absent
8. "Leave a Little Juice":	Absent	38. "Personal Assistant":	Non-speaking
9. "Big Barry on Campus":	Absent	39–40. "Trevor's Rockin' Halloween Bash":	Absent
10. "Club Book":	Absent	41. "I Like to Move It!":	Absent
11. "Kiff's Mix":	Absent	42. "Hive Got an Idea":	Absent
12. "Kiff's on a Plane":	Absent	43. "You Can't Handle the Tooth!":	Absent
13. "Farley":	Absent	44. "Blooper Quest":	Absent
14. "Two for One Hot Dogs":	Debut	45. "When You Mow, You Mow":	Absent
15. "Halfway There Day":	Absent	46. "Harry's Maturity Crisis":	Pictured
16. "Be Still My Harp":	Absent	47. "Silly Moods":	Absent
17. "Friendiversary":	Absent	48. "Chatterley vs. Chatterley":	Pictured
18. "Totally Table Town":	Background	49. "Hungee Squirrel":	Background
19. "Hat":	Absent	50. "Foreverangees":	Absent
20. "Lost and Found":	Background	51. "Snow More Ketchup":	Absent
21–22. "Principal Dance Socks":	Non-speaking	52. "Kiff and Barry Go to Prom":	Absent
23. "Two Truths and a Bunny":	Absent	53. "Kiff Is Good at Sports":	Absent
24. "Nicknames":	Absent	54. "Mushroommates":	Absent
25. "The Sound of Helen":	Absent	55. "Principal Helen":	Absent
26. "Weekly Grocery Shop":	Absent	56. "Dial B for Butt":	Absent
27. "Friendship in the Time of Cheese Caves":	Absent	57. "Fun Uncle Pat":	Absent
28. "Soup Opera":	Absent	58. "Kiff Escape!":	Absent
29. "Mall Leader":	Absent	59. "Beach Day":	Absent
30. "Ghost Wolf's Art":	Absent	60. "Sun's Out Buns Out":	Absent

Season 2
Opening sequence:		Absent
1. "Kiff Has to Sneeze":	Non-speaking	29. "Kristophe's Big Day Out":	Absent
2. "Never Meet Your Mailboxes":	Absent	30. "Annoying, Freaky, Cool":	Absent
3. "The Other Movie":	Absent	31. "A Troll Through the Woods":	Absent
4. "Roy-alty Check":	Absent	32. "Big Coat":	Absent
5. "Stramded":	Absent	33. "The Tower on Trevor":	Absent
6. "Hairstory":	Absent	34. "Friends On Line":	Absent
7. "Lights Out":	Absent	35. "Martin Waxed the Floors!":	Absent
8. "Dinner at Barry's":	Absent	36. "Juice Break":	Absent
9. "Taily":	Absent	37. "Stories Before Snories":	Absent
10. "Cocina Island":	Absent	38. "Is Patty a Baddie?":	Absent
11. "Up All Night":	Appears	39. "Slippery Slopes":	Absent
12. "Rotten Banana":	Absent	40. "Of B&B's and Piano Keys":	Absent
13. "OTDR":	Absent	41–42. "Ye Olde Candy Shoppe of Horrors":	Absent
14. "Good Morning Table Town School":	Absent	43. "PS You're Fired":	Absent
15. "Wiz Ed":	Absent	44. "Weird Delivery 2: Return to Pretendo Time":	Absent
16. "Mystery Spell":	Absent	45. "Next Year's Musical":	Absent
17. "Trash Clumpers":	Pictured	46. "Troubles Wubbington":	Absent
18. "Wiff & Larry":	Absent	47. "Uncle Pat in Charge":	Absent
19. "Helping People Feels Good":	Absent	48. "Fab Fourteen":	Pictured
20. "Dinner with Darryn":	Absent	49. "So Fluffy":	Absent
21. "Spoiled Again":	Absent	50. "Oh, Brother":	Absent
22. "Much Ado About Muffin":	Absent	51. "Don't Leave B Hangin'":	Absent
23. "Arrested Dehelenment":	Absent	52. "Thunderstorm Game Night":	Absent
24. "Here Comes the Wedding Episode":	Absent	53. "No Thank You":	Absent
25. "Rock Kick":	Absent	54. "Love Ed":	Absent
26. "The Macaroni Affair":	Absent	55. "Souvenir Money":	Absent
27–28. "Kiff and Barry Save Halfway There Day":	Absent	56. "Kiff Loses Barry":	Absent

Gallery

Click here to view the gallery for Nice Old Singer.

v • e — Characters —
Protagonists	Kiff Chatterley • Barry Buns
Supporting characters	Beryl Chatterley • Martin Chatterley • Mary Buns • Harry Buns • Terri Buns • Kristophe Buns • Trevor Angstrom • Renée du Bedat • Candle Fox • Reggie Racona • Helen • Miss Deer Teacher • Principal Secretary • Sweepy Steve • Roy Fox • Glarbin Gloobin
Recurring characters	Billiam • Gareth • Darryn Gherkinheim • Patty Hoot • Snekole • Agnes • Beverly • Flam Bingo • Pat Chatterley • Ghost Wolf • Dr. Lyon • Miss Moufflé • Pawva Mugg • Michaela Oats • The Pone • Secretary Prince • Rat • Mr. RiPeppa • Trollie • The Wall of Goat • Chubbles Wubbington
Minor characters	DJ Alan • Amira • Andrew • Hobart Angstrom • Mrs. Angstrom • Annoying Andy • Baby New Year • Ben Bamboo • Banana • Flam Banjo • Bear Townsperson • Cherry Berry • Mama Berry • Biff • Biker Lady • Bill • Bird Greg • Bird Linda • Birthday Brian • Cakie Bonut • Jadley Brackson • Bríonne • Ridgeway Burlington • Cashier • Cedric • Rose Chatterley • Tom Chatterley • Cheryl • Centaur Claus • Computer Gremlin • Lance Contract • Goldie Crispo • Dante • Dee • Dennis • Deryl • Diane • Diego • DJ Donna • Donnie • Drifter • Dumb Bird • Ed • Ben Finn • Quinn Finn • The Five Pigeons of the Acapellapocalypse (Bad Boy • Meathead • Mystery Lad • Nice Guy • Party Girl) • Flip • Miss Foodcake • Gayle • Gerard • Ghost Grannie • Gladys • The Glamdals • Gordon • Gram Gram • Grandma Dog • Bort Grig • Ellis Gert Griswold • Lady Jane Harness • Dan Hill • Bigby Hind • Humphrey • Iris • Jean Claude • Jeffy • Jerry Jo • Jill • Judge Judegy • Kenny • Dean Kim • Kim • Klon • Kristen • L.E. • The Left Brothers • Cam Lensington • Lighthouse Keeper • Lil' Ouchie Boo Boo • Little Louis • Liz K. • Professor Lloyd • Lady Lorraine • Kyle Lyon • Regina Lyon • Mav • Meryl • Nick Namé • Nana Chubbs • Nice Old Singer • Other Barry • Tech Pelican • Mr. Penguino • Jackie Pennidötter • Pete • Phil • Rupert Pianovski • Markus Plue • Tarryn Plue • Kim Popularé • Rachel Racona • Robby Racona • Rad • Rex • Rhonda • Rita • Robyn • Rock • Granite Rockberg • Rockwell • Rodney • Joyce Rogers • Roo • Rory • Rosso • Ma Saddle • Pa Saddle • Rob Sadly • Todd Sadly • Sally • Scarm Scaremly • Scribbling Salvatore • Seagull Girl • Constable Secretary • Secretary Mom • Fred Shepherd • Forlington Slarvly • Slent • Slimmy P • Crumble Smallsmith • Tippy Snooker • Principal Swan • Timmy Table • Tara • Vanilla Tigner • Tony • Professor Totsy • The Tower • Tracey • Tracey's Parents • Harriet Trimble • Tuft Pierre Students • Miss Tulane • Tyler • Erica Von Ant • Wayne • Danny Wibbon • Wild Goose • George Meredith Willows